Swimming!!

Lily had her very first swim in Nanchang and she LOVED it. We were afraid that she would scream bloody murder since she is not a fan of baths but she did amazingly well. When her little feet touched the water, she gave me a look like, "Mommy what in the world is that that I'm feeling?!?!" We only stayed in the water for a few minutes because of her stuffy nose but we plan to do lots of swimming in the future. I'm hoping for us to take a Mommy and Baby swim class when we get home. These pictures are in reverse order...gotta love blogger.

Daddy drying off baby Lily
Grandpa and Mommy with Lily in the pool at the Gloria Hotel

Doh - what is this all about?!?!

Daddy telling Lily that she was about to go swimming

And here's a little video of our swim...

Friday in Nanchang - 5 Days of Lily

I am having to back-blog because I haven't had time to keep up. I am going to try to at least put some pictures from each day with highlights. Friday (5/20) in Nanchang was a free day for us. We just really loved on our Lily and watched her grow and develop at the speed of light.
Grandpa has taught her how to stick out her bottom lip...there will be more pics of that to follow.

You can see Nanchang in the background and can see how dirty the outside of the hotel windows are and a little of the smog. Some days the air quality was so bad that you could almost not see the buildings across the street.

Lily has given us smiles since the day we met her but every day there are more. She also is developing new facial expressions every day, new noises and new habits. It is so amazing to watch her personality unfold.

I. LOVE. THIS. CHILD.

Thursday from Nanchang

Pictures first....

Me playing with my little girl at breakfast

My sweet baby sucking on her blankie

The stroller just swallows her up. She only tolerated it for a few minutes before we had to pick her up.

Grandpa loving Lily. We are so fortunate that he was willing to share this time with us and get to know his granddaughter. She will be seeing a ton of him and I'm glad she is getting to know and love him.

I love the headbands but she HATES them. I can only put them on her for a picture before she convinces Daddy to take them off.

We have now been in Nanchang for 4 whole days and we've been in China for a week today. We are really ready to come home and start the adventure that the rest of our lives hold. For now, we have 3 more days in Nanchang followed by 5 in Guangzhou and one night in Beijing before we start the long journey back home. Today we went to the supermarket which is within walking distance of the hotel. We bought some more formula (the Chinese Enfamil) and a boogie sucker. I promise I am going to post a picture of this thing...it is actually designed for the parent to physically suck through a tube to force the boogies out of the baby's nose. Ha ha. I would do anything to clear out Lily's congestion though. She doesn't have a fever today and we think she's doing better but she still has a snotty nose, occasional sneezing and coughing. She is really teething hardcore. She has the two little teeth on the bottom front and is cutting a tooth on the top front as well. She is chewing on everything...including my arms, my clothes, my fingers, her fingers.

Yesterday Lily inaugurated Jeff in to fatherhood by poo-ing all over him. I had to go do some paperwork and when I walked back in the room, it reeked of poo and Jeff had it all down his pant leg. Don't ask me how this happened...I can't even begin to imagine. Later last night, she spit up all over his Auburn shirt. He is now officially a DAD. :)

Our little girl is so very very little. I feel like she is already getting bigger and gaining more muscle control in her neck and core but we had to go back to the store to buy newborn size diapers for her because all her poo was just pouring out the sides of the smalls that were so baggy on her. The only clothes that really seem to fit her halfway decently are her 3 month size onesies. The 3 month pants are very loose and the 6 months ones look like she's going gangsta. It's strange because she is small in every way...not just skinny. She is very proportionate - just looks so much like a 2-3 month old baby. I feel like she must have been premature. We have an appointment at the adoption clinic shortly after we get home and hopefully they can give us a good assessment and plan for the next few months.

Every day gets better and better though. Lily slept 6 hours straight last night on the bed between us, woke up for a diaper change and then slept for another hour or so. So far today, she has had two naps, two 6 oz bottles and a 5 oz one. She is awesome, amazing, fantastic, perfect and we just love her so, so, so much. The Chinese people on the street do too. They come up to us and touch her constantly. We are superstars, getting stares and attention everywhere. Fortunately, it's all friendly attention and we are so proud to show off the love of our lives.

Right now we are in our room waiting for Louise, our guide, to bring us some documents to verify and tomorrow she will pick up Lily's passport so that we can go to Guangzhou on Sunday. Once we get there, we will start the US part of the adoption...getting her immigration status set up, medical exam for US entry, consulate appointment, getting her visa for travel to the US. It will be a busy few days but we are so looking forward to getting to a city that is calmer and more "user-friendly" than Nanchang.

I know this post is all over the place...that is just how I am right now. I am jumbled, crazy, tired and oh-so-very-over-the-top happy. I still can't believe that my dream is a reality.

More pictures

Have I said that we are sharing this journey with another amazing couple - the Wardells?!? Their BEAUTIFUL daughter, Sophie, is just 4 days older than Lily and they are awesome parents. It is so special to share the most amazing time of our lives with another family going through the same experience. There are really no words to describe it.
Here we are at our official adoption at the Civil Affairs office...moments after we had officially become a family.

And Tony with Sophie on his shoulder, being held by Louise (our most fantastic guide through this adventure).

Sophie and Lily will be friends for life. We think they were in the same room at the orphanage.

So in love....

And my two babies just worn out from playing, not sleeping and all the excitement of the past few days.

Parenthood

We have had an exhausting and AMAZING couple of days. Lily has developed a pretty bad stuffy nose with lots of boogies and a little sneezing/coughing. Yesterday she had a little temp that came down easily with some Tylenol. Of course, I have been checking it every 2 hours or so (since I'm that OCD) and it has pretty much stayed below 99. She is definitely teething also. Lots of drool and chewing on EVERYTHING. Last night she basically didn't sleep. Jeff was up with her about 5 hours. When she does sleep, she has to be laying on us or touching us. It is very rare that she will lay on her back in the crib or in the bed and fall asleep on her own. She requires holding and walking in order to go to sleep. Therefore...there are lots of sleepy parents and granddads around these parts...
Fortunately, she seems to be feeling some better this afternoon. I had to use the little nasal aspirator thingy on her and she HATED it. Still lots of boogies and some minor sneezing and coughing but no fever and her fussiness has subsided a little. Daddy is holding her right now and she definitely is a daddy's girl. She stares at him out of the side of her eye when I hold her and she just gives him huge toothy grins whenever he looks at her. It's so sweet. Jeff is being so wonderful with her. So is Grandpa...

He just loves her smiles too. Seeing my dad with his granddaughter just melts me. I can tell he is so in love with her and I can't wait to share our whole future with our family. There is so much fun and happiness ahead of us.

See this precious beauty....she is better than any dream I could've ever had.

And every day it just gets better and better.

PERFECT!

We have now had Lily for almost 2 days and it honestly feels like she has been with us forever. She is so amazing! Jeff and I are loving parenthood and she has the best Grandpa loving on her. I am trying to upload her Gotcha video from Sunday but it's a super big file so I'm having a little bit of a time with it. It was such an emotional few moments. We knew they were going to be there at 4:30pm and we were supposed to meet our guide, Louise, in the hotel lobby at that time. We only had about 30 minutes between getting back to the hotel and meeting her so I was frantic. When we went downstairs, we didn't know what to expect so Dad started the video as the elevator doors opened. We walked toward the front of the lobby and I saw the back of a tiny baby girl in someone's arms. I knew it was our Fu Ren. When they handed her to me, she started screaming. She screamed for a few minutes before she fell asleep in my arms. I was already so deeply in love with her and the love, which I didn't think could get bigger, has grown every minute since then.

Our baby girl is so, so tiny. I did the step on the scale, add her trick and it looks like she weighs about 11 lbs. We will get an official weight at her medical exam next week in Guangzhou. Her 3-6 month clothes that I brought for her are a little too big. Her size 2 diapers are also loose and we got some size small ones here and they are downright baggy. She is petite in every way and really appears to be about 2-3 months old although we know that she will actually be 7 months old in just 5 days.

The hotel brought in a crib, baby bathtub, stroller and baby pot for us to use. The orphanage told us that they start potty training at 4 months and that we should put her on the baby pot an hour after every bottle for her to use it. I did that once on the first night when she was inconsolable and there was no potty. It just feels weird to put a tiny baby on this pot and expect them to use it. I guess stranger things have happened. She had her first bath yesterday and doesn't love the water. She had to have her second bath yesterday also after she spit up all over herself and me.

Her medical said that she had a weak stomach and it was so right. She had gas for the first few hours and really purged herself of 2 full bottles yesterday. She has given us 4 stinky diapers so far so the prune juice and glycerins that I brought won't be needed :). The orphanage gave us 2 boxes of formula and 2 rice cereal and told us to mix 6 scoops of formula and 4 of rice cereal with each full 8 oz bottle. That seems like a lot, right? They also said it would last 2 weeks and, after 2 days, we are already in to the 2nd box. We brought a little enfamil but weren't anticipating using it except as a back up so I'm not sure what we will do about formula since we aren't able to get her orphanage brand here. It is only made in the city where she was living.

Yesterday was a big day for all of us. We went to the Civil Affairs office to agree to love and care for Gan Fu Ren forever. We signed our documents and became her parents in just a few moments. She is officially ours and we could not be happier.

Our angel didn't sleep much her first night with us but slept about 6 hours in the bed with us last night. She also just woke up from her nap and slept almost 2 hours then...in her Daddy's arms. He is doing amazingly with her! She gives us smiles all the time, showing us her 2 little bottom teeth. It appears that some of her upper teeth are trying to break through too. Hopefully this explains why she had a little temp this morning when she woke up. She also has a little runny nose and some sneezing/coughing so she may have a little cold. I gave her a little baby Tylenol and her temp is completely normal now. It did make her fall asleep so we may be using it on the plane rides that are coming up.

We have 5 more days here in Nanchang and we will be so ready to leave when Sunday comes. This city is so different from Beijing. It is very much more rural, the air quality is worse, the driving is absolutely horrid and scary, there aren't many convenient stores or restaurants around the hotel. It is a place we will always love because we met our baby girl here but it's definitely not a place for vacationing.

Well...Lily is up now and I am craving baby hugs so I am going to sign off for now. Here are a few pictures... We are so, so happy!!!

We have her!

Day 3: Beijing - Summer Palace, Tiananmen Square and Forbidden City

I am sitting in the lobby at the hotel in Beijing on our last night here before we fly to Nanchang to meet Lily. I am just going to put our web album link here (click on the picture below to view the album) from today's adventure and go try to pack. I will add a blog post and photo captions ASAP. For now, I am focused on the next 20 hours and 2 minutes before we meet our baby girl. AHHHHHHHH!

2011-05-14 China Day 3 - Beijing Summer Palace, Tiananmen Square, Forbidden

Day 2: Beijing – Great Wall and Temple of Heaven

Wow. We are in CHINA! I have to pinch myself every so often just to convince myself that this real. We started this day by waking up at about 3:30am...at 4:30am I just asked who was awake. We all were. So we got up, took showers and just chatted for a while before breakfast. We have a breakfast buffet as part of our hotel and it was awesome. They had a combination of American, British and Chinese foods...including different dumplings and buns, some white fruit that has what looks to be black poppy seeds in it and all kinds of pancakes, cereals, pastries. It was a great start to the day. Jeff wore his Auburn shirt (of course – if you know Jeff you could have guessed this). Amazingly, we were leaving breakfast and heard a “War Eagle”...we met a man who had graduated from Auburn in the 1950's. He was so nice and we got to share our Lily story. I just love to talk about my baby girl.

After breakfast, we still had some time before meeting our tour guide (8am) so we went for a walk down the street by our hotel. It's just amazing to see the Chinese characters on all the buildings and signs and to just realize we are in this country that I have been dreaming about for over 5 years. It is beautiful here...warm, about in the low 80's and very windy although it started out a little cool in the morning. My pictures tell that story with my hair all over the place.

We met Louise, Karen, Tony and Kathleen (Karen's mom) at 8am to take off for our tour. We went for about an hour and a half drive to the Great Wall (with a little stop at a Jade Market) and parked at the entrance for the Ju Yong Pass. Supposedly it is one of the hardest parts of the wall to walk since it is mostly steps...all of which are different heights and worn. We saw it and instantly considered it a personal challenge. Before we could start the climb, we stopped at the area of the locks. Louise told us the story (which we had seen on The Amazing Race years ago) that a couple puts a lock on the chain on this part of the wall and throws the key over, signifying that there is nothing that can break them. We had brought a lock from home, although there are tons of people that buy them there and have them engraved with their names. Dad also brought one. We ceremoniously put them on the chain and threw our keys over. It was neat.

Then we started the climb. OMG. We were trying to get to the top of the pass and we kept going and going and going. We lost Jeff about half way up but Dad and I kept trudging. Jeff has a fear of heights...my poor baby. We kept going and going. Just when we would reach a landing thinking it was the highest part, we would look up and see another set of winding steps. So we kept going and going, my legs were shaking and I was sweating. Dad was hard core, always ahead of me. We finally got to a point where we were way past the time that we were supposed to meet our group, we were gave out and there was still another snaking part of the wall ahead, so we cut our losses and turned back. It took us almost 40 minutes just to climb down and by the end my legs were visibly quivering. But I felt good. :) Jeff and I got an ice cream (no points counting here) and we met our group.

From there we went to our Chinese luncheon which was as awesome as breakfast. It was served family style with all the food on a lazy susan in the middle of the table. We had sweet n' sour chicken, breaded chicken, some sweet-ish egg rolls, beef, fish balls, vegetables, a plate of celery (YUCK), noodles, jasmine tea and soup. There was also some Chinese wine that was 56% alcohol...it tasted like rubbing alcohol and provoked some crazy faces. Dad had a little tiny beer with his food. Everything tasted so yummy. I have heard that real Chinese food is not like we get in the US but this was really great.

We then took a little tour of a cloisonne factory and did some small shopping. I haven't bought anything yet...waiting for Lily to get here first. After that, we took another long bus ride to the Temple of Heaven. Traffic is horrible in Beijing. Of course, Louise is well versed in all things Beijing and has told us that there are 16 million people in this city alone. I think that is like 5 times the size of the population of Alabama. It is all so spread out too...not meaning a cluster of buildings here and there but non-stop sky rises for miles and miles and miles. It was so windy and we were told that this helped the air quality for us and it really is not nearly as bad as I anticipated. Of course we will see what the next couple of days hold.

Once we got to the Temple of Heaven, we worked our way through millions of people and saw some gorgeous buildings. There is so much symbolism to everything in these historical temples and buildings. Louise was telling us about the yin and yang, yin being a female symbol associated with even numbers and yang being male and odd numbers. There are lots of numerical references to these numbers and lots of 9's and multiples of 9's as that is the largest odd number (yang) and is a symbol of power.

Oops...I got interrupted during my post and lost my train of thought. I will finish later and add on Day 3 (Summer Palace, Tiananmen Square and Forbidden City). For now, here are some pictures...

Me and Jeff at the Temple of Heaven

The Great Wall of China....AMAZING!
Me and Dad after our climb on the Great Wall
Lily's Daddy and Mommy

And here's a link to the album of 150+ pictures if you want to take a look...

2011-05-13 Day 2 - Beijing

China Trip Day 1: Leaving Home for Beijing

We made it to Beijing! It feels so strange to be so, so far away from home. Honestly, I am a little freaked out by the fact that it took us 13 hours in a plane to get here. We traveled over 6,500 miles from Chicago to Beijing. That's a long stinkin' way.

We started this day (actually yesterday Wednesday, May 11) getting up around 5:30 and pulling everything together to catch our first flight from Birmingham to Chicago. Mom took us to the airport and sat with us a while before we went through security. I so wish she could be here with us but someone has to work, right?!? We got on the plane, made it to Chicago and our flight to Beijing was delayed by 2 ½ hours. We met up with Karen, Tony and Karen's mom in the airport, ate and twiddled away some time until we finally boarded the plane....and sat on the tarmac for another 2 hours. It was excruciating!!!

Once we took off, it was ok....as ok as 13 hours squished like sardines on a plane can be I guess. I tried to medicate myself with Benadryl but I must be resistance cause it did NOTHING for me. I slept maybe 40 minutes the whole flight. We were supposed to arrive in Beijing at 3:15pm and ended up getting here at 7:20pm Beijing time (6:20am CST). Our guide, Louise met us after we went through immigration, claimed our bags and made it through customs. She is super sweet and walked us through some highlights for the next few days. She will actually be accompanying us all the way through our trip until we head home on the 28th. She also said she called the orphanage yesterday to check on Lily and Sophie and they told her that our girls were very active. Hee hee. We are in for it, aren't we?!?

We are now settled in to our room at the Rennaisance Chaoyang Hotel in Beijing. We took a little walk to the Quik mart about 2 blocks away to get water and some Coca-Cola Light. I had graham crackers and peanut butter in the room tonight for dinner. Food for tomorrow will be much more interesting. Tomorrow morning we will wake up at 6am (5pm CST), get ready and have breakfast in the hotel before we meet Louise at 8am to start our touring day. We will visit the Great Wall in the morning and the Temple of Heaven afterwards with a stop for a traditional Chinese lunch somewhere in there. We will also be going to a jade factory.

I'm really not sure what my first impression of Beijing is. It's smoggy and there are lots of people on bicycles. People drive nuts and there is our nice hotel 2 blocks down the street from a sex shop. Strange. I haven't slept for 2 days and I have to go down to the lobby to upload this and our pictures from today so I will save most of my impressions for tomorrow. I really just want to get my baby girl. Like now. :)

Here are pictures from yesterday/today... click on the pic and it will take you to the album.

2011-05-12 China Trip Day1

More tomorrow!

Dear Lily,

On this day before we start the journey to meet you and bring you home, my heart is so full of things I want you to know, things that have been on my mind and in my heart for almost 6 years. While the wait for you has been difficult, I would do it twenty times over just to get to you. In the beginning, I would dream about the day that your nanny would hand you to me. I would wonder if I would cry and scare you or if I would be able to make you smile as I reached out my hands to you. Those dreams sustained me for a long time, every day passing and, although I didn't know at the time, bringing me one tiny step closer to you.

My sweet baby girl, I hope some day you will know just how much I wanted to be your mommy. You were chosen to be ours. We will bring you home where you were meant to grow and be happy. I promise you this, my precious child, that I will do everything in my power to give you a good life. I promise to nurture you when you are sick, wipe your tears when you cry, cheer you on through every school program, recital or tee ball game. I will bake you a birthday cake every year and sing lullabies to you, trying my best not to hurt your ears. I will brush and braid your hair until you fall asleep on my lap. I will comfort you through boo-boos and heartbreaks. I will hold you close to me as long as you need it and, when you grow, I will let you go and watch you become the beautiful woman I know you will be. I promise, Lily, I promise.

You are my every dream come true and, even when you have temper tantrums, I will remember this. In a few days, I will hold you and lead you away from everything you have ever known. I know you will be hurting and sad. I will do my best to be patient and remind you every minute that me and your daddy are here to stay and will never, ever leave you. I promise you that you will know the beauty of the place that gave you to us. You will know your heritage and we will make it a very important part of the rich melting pot that is already our home.

I love you Lily. I have loved you since the day I was born, for I was born to be your mother. Every step of my life has led me to this point and being your mommy will be the most important thing I will ever do. Our journey together through this life begins in just a couple days. I can't wait!

Love always and forever,
Your mommy

Two More Sleeps

WOW! We only have two more full days and nights before we board a plane and make our way to the little girl we have dreamed about for over 5 years now. I really can't believe it. I am so emotional...crying spontaneously, having temper tantrums over nothing and having some major OCD over packing, etc. It's crazy. Trust me, I know it will all work out. Things have come together so perfectly and beautifully since we've seen Lily's face - I just know that this is exactly how things were meant to happen.

Jeff and I are even more stoked because my parents have moved back to Birmingham...in fact, they did the big move this weekend. On top of that, Dad is going with us to China! We are so excited that he wants to go and is able to be a part of this amazing journey. It is surely going to be the trip of a lifetime. Some highlights of our itinerary:

May 12-15 - Beijing (tour Great Wall, Summer Palace, Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, Temple of Heaven)

May 15 - Travel from Beijing to Nanchang and MEET LILY at 4:30pm local time

May 16-22 - Nanchang (Lily's registration/notarization - where we process the Chinese end of the adoption, get her Chinese passport and have a few free days to explore her home Province_

May 22 - Travel from Nanchang to Guangzhou

May 23-27 - Guangzhou (home of the US Consulate/Embassy to process the US side of the adoption - get Lily's medical exam, Consulate/Embassy appointment and swearing in, get her visa for travel to US with one free day for shopping)

May 27 - Travel from Guangzhou to Beijing

May 28 - Travel from Beijing back to Birmingham (arriving Saturday night)

We are so very close!

May 15th

At 4:30pm China time on Sunday, May 15th, 2011, this little girl will be in our arms....
Until that moment, she is in our heart, on our minds and in our prayers...where she has been since October 12, 2005...and forever, really.

Baby Shower!

My most favorite Girl Scout friends had a baby shower for me yesterday - it was so much fun! I absolutely LOVE talking about my little girl and getting advice from my friends who have all had kids. My friend, Amy, brought her little boy is just 3 days younger than Lily. He is super cute and such a sweet and happy baby and I couldn't help but watch his every move to try to soak up what milestones and abilities our Lily should have. I know that she will probably be at least 2 months delayed in development and she will be a tiny peanut but I feel that she will catch up quickly and hopefully have many play dates with little Brady.

Unfortunately for me, I checked the camera battery and then left the camera sitting on the kitchen table. Oops. My friend, Nicole, stepped in and took some pictures and will be sending them to me so I will post them soon. :)

I am so extremely grateful that we have friends and family who are so supportive of our journey to Lily. I was reminded yesterday that we have a community of prayers and excitement that is beyond words. Thank you all who have been on this path with us, following and sharing along the way. We are so extremely blessed. Every day.

Let the chaos begin

See my big pile o' baby stuff that needs to be organized and packed?!?! And this isn't even close to all of it.

11 days and counting!!!!

We have plane tickets!

Not only did we get our travel approval yesterday, our amazing China Coordinator worked diligently to get our consulate appointment and she had confirmation this morning. We have to be present for the appointment on May 25th at 10am. This happens during the middle of the last week that we are there so we worked backwards to get our travel dates. We will be leaving on May 11th...just a week and a half from now! All of our in-China arrangements still need to be made but we have our to and from China flights booked. Our tentative Lily Day is May 16th after a couple days in Beijing and a flight to Nanchang, the largest city in her province. I have had 2 horrendous days at work and I know my co-workers think I'm nuts for stealing minutes in the hallway to talk to the travel agent or looking at my phone every 2 minutes for text updates on our travel progress. I was actually off the schedule at work starting the week AFTER we leave so I am having to cancel a few of my shifts. I told one of my bosses at work and he told me not to worry. Me, not worry?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?!? Regardless, I can't worry because I will be holding my Lily in just about 2 weeks!! UNBELIEVABLE!

Travel Approval!!

I will be posting later about the devastation that our state has had with the horrendous storms but I have to pause through that chaos to celebrate the next step of our journey to Lily - we got TRAVEL APPROVAL!!! One day short of 4 weeks (27 days) since we saw Lily's face and excitedly FedEx'ed back our acceptance of her referral.

Michelle at our agency is now requesting our consulate appointment which will determine our dates of travel. We could travel any time between May 11th-May 19th from what I can tell. We may have a more solid idea tomorrow or it may be Monday. We are so much closer to our baby girl today than we were yesterday!

Grrr. I'm a Lilybear.

I have been a crafting fool lately. I guess I'm trying to pass the time while we wait for travel approval. I have made headbands, hats, personalized onesies. I have walked up and down the aisles of Michael's just searching for Lily-related projects to tackle. So far, this is my favorite...

I can't wait to hold my little Lilybear. Bring us our travel approval...now please.

Finding Ad

I debated for a few days about whether or not I wanted to order Lily's finding ad. I did and I received it yesterday via e-mail with translation and hard copies coming in the mail soon.

A finding ad is part of the process that has to be done in order to have a child declared an orphan. It contains a picture of the baby, often very early in life, along with date of birth, finding date and location, name given by the orphanage and possibly some brief description of the child. It is published in the newspaper and, from what I understand, is basically an advertisement for any family or person wanting to claim the child to come forward. If there is no response, the process to declare them "abandoned or orphaned" continues. This process can take several months and is often why most children involved in international adoption from China are at least 6 months old.

I have to say that Lily's finding ad picture, which was placed in a newspaper on November 30, 2010, looks nothing like her referral pictures. She was just a couple weeks old when the picture was taken and I can tell that the orphanage has been good to her because she had definitely gained a good amount of weight by the time her referral pictures were taken at about 3 months old. It is so hard to see this child that I have fallen in love with on a page of a newspaper with at least 30-50 other children. My hope in ordering it is that some day it will be part of her story and we can sit with her and talk about how she came to be with us as her family. My heart knows that when she is old enough and we have this conversation and show her what we have of her origins, it will be extremely emotional. I just hope that we are able to give her the tools to comprehend it all and that she can know that, even in abandonment, she was loved...both by her birth family and by us, her forever family. In my eyes, though I haven't been on the opposite end of this scenario, abandonment in adoption is not done without love. Lily's mother loved her enough to carry her, to protect and to leave her where she would be found quickly. I'm sure she loves her every day and will for the rest of her life. We will never know the truth of Lily's birth, her birth family or the circumstances which led her to Jianxin and, ultimately, to us. The Chinese culture and one-child policy is something I have tried to explain factually to almost everyone who knows the story of Lily but, in reality, it is not something we, as Americans, will ever understand.

I continue to feel so blessed to be looking forward to my future as Lily's mommy. The page in that newspaper with all those children hurts my heart and leads me to a special prayer tonight...that every child on that page is a blessing to a family, their special dream come true. That is what Lily is to us...our dream, our future, our blessing, our daughter. Once she is in my arms, I will never, ever let her go.

Happy 6 Month Birthday Baby Girl!!

Six months ago, a very brave woman in China made a decision that would change her own life, the life of her child and our lives forever. She gave us our precious little girl. I can't even imagine what she must have gone through in making that decision, the sacrifice for a child I know she loved. Would it have made it easier for her if she knew that this child would be so loved by a family half way around the world who would do absolutely anything to give her a lifetime of opportunities and happiness?


Six months ago this day, this beautiful baby girl came in to this world destined to be our daughter. Our hearts are with her thousands of miles away. We won't be whole until she is in our arms. I can't even tell you how much I love her. Thoughts of her make me spontaneously smile and imagining our exciting future has given me a peace and joy that I have never known. Happy 6 month birthday my sweet Lily Faith Ren, my angel, my star, my dream come true!

Dads Don't Ride Motorcycles

Jeff has been spending quite a bit of time lately trying to restore this old motorcycle that has been hibernating underneath his parents' house for almost 30 years. It's a reeallly old 1972 Honda CB100 that he had back in the day when he was a slick, afro-sporting twenty-something. This bike is older than I am. Anyway, I digress. He has been surfing the web for parts, spending lots of time in the garage wire brushing, disassembling, painting and reassembling. He is pretty proud of himself and I am proud of him too...

Of course I am not a big fan of him riding any kind of motorized bicycle, moped, scooter, motorcycle, etc. They are dangerous. I don't want him to have any unnecessary broken bones, gravel embedded in skin, road burn and, really, I don't think if I wrapped him in Charmin that it would do much good. So...in my purely love-driven concern for my husband, I present the top 10 reasons why dads don't ride motorcycles...

10. Rain. If it rains then what do you do? I have heard that rain drops when you are riding a motorcycle feel like little bullets.

9. Leather. Jeff does own a shaft coat or 2 but that's not the type of leather you need to wear on a motorcycle.

8. Groceries. Where do you put the things you have to pick up at Publix on your way home? A gallon of milk doesn't just balance on the steering wheel.

7. Seatbelts. There are none. 'Nuff said.

6. Parking. I just hate when those motorcyle peoples take up that one last parking spot close to the door.

5. Traffic. How do you handle a motorcycle/motorbike in heavy traffic? Feet up, feet down? You definitely don't handle it by weaving in and out of standstill cars, right?!!?

4. Helmet. Do you really want to carry a big 'ole helmet inside work or at the store? How does that work logistically? I don't think it would fit in the lockers at the hospital.

3. Car pool. Don't even try to use the motorcycle thing as an excuse to pawn carpool off on me. Don't even.

2. Carseat. Simply put, you can not put a carseat on a motorcycle. So where is the place for that in a dad's world??!?!

1. 'Cause I said so. And now that I'm a mom, that should be good enough.

Sunday aka Snapped Day

Jeff and I love "dead shows"... all those murder investigation shows like Forensic Files, The Investigators, Body of Evidence, The First 48....love 'em all! I guess we are just morbid. Sunday holds a special place, though, because it's the day of woman who've gone nuts and committed the most heinous of all crimes. I introduce to you Sunday.... Snapped Day! Join us any Sunday for the marathon of women who've killed their husbands, stole someone's baby, gone nuts-o and offed their parents, etc. Women are scarrrrry. I'm one of them and I still think they're scary. It is our Sunday Snapped habit that makes Jeff refuse to drink the green flavor of Gatorade...you know the whole polyethylene glycol business. While I jest, all of these women are brought to justice at the end of every episode. Thankfully there are shows like Real Housewives of Atlanta, Jersey Shore and Kim and Kourtney Take New York to restore our faith in woman-kind. ;)

To BOB or not to BOB??

Baby shopping is in full gear and yesterday we went to the most amazing baby store ever. Buy Buy Baby is like entering a universe strictly designed for babies...everything you could EVER need or want. This is actually not all a good thing for people like me who don't make decisions very easily. I mean really...there is an entire wall about 40 feet high with different types of pacifiers. There are also like 500 strollers lining the walls and you can actually take them for a test drive around the store. I've been contemplating the BOB for a while now...ever since one of my running partners let me try it out with her kids in it for a few minutes. It was awesome. My concern is that this stroller is $400+ and I really don't want to drop so much cha-ching on something that I can't use ALL the time. I've had some feedback from some BOB lovers who say that they actually DO use it all the time and it's good for kids up to 70 lbs (meaning that Lily could probably use it till high school) but my remaining concerns are...is there storage space for, say, a trip to the mall? Does it fold easily and small enough to fit in my Civic trunk? Cup holders - I know there is an attachment you can buy with accessories like cup holders but are they good? Is there a tray table attachment for the baby as she gets older? Plus it doesn't swivel from front facing to rear facing like some other options and will this be ok considering we want as much bonding time/tools as possible?

2 weeks in

Two weeks ago today, almost to this very minute, I was meeting my daughter on paper. I will NEVER forget that day. Our acceptance of Lily's referral went back to China FedEx that night. Our adoption agency says that travel approvals have come to them quickly in the past and thinks that we are actually even now, at the 2 week mark, within the window for possibly receiving it. This is important because as soon as we get that TA (travel approval issued by China inviting us to come get our daughter), we will have to schedule our consulate appointment which will happen during the last leg of our trip and then, depending on that appointment date, we can book our flights. Michelle from our adoption agency (our total lifeline right now) says we could possibly be in Lily's province, prepared to meet her as soon as 2 weeks after we receive our travel approval. I am getting chills just at the prospect of that. We could be just a couple weeks away from holding Lily. I am prepared, however, to have to wait until the middle to end of May...I have even thought on my pessimistic days that it might be the beginning of June BUT...let me indulge for a minute and think it may be sooner. While these last two weeks have been tough knowing that our little girl is in this world without us, I wouldn't trade a second of this amazing time. I feel so blessed, fortunate, chosen. The next few weeks will get tougher, I know this. We have done everything we can humanly do to get to Lily as quick as possible and we will hold her in our arms on the very first day that we can. Until then, we will hold her in our hearts.

58 months

Wow! I can't believe how one month can change our lives so much. Today is our 58th LID Month-a-versary. 58 months since China stamped the paperwork that took us 8 months to prepare and put our hopes and dreams in a stack to sit...for 57 months. Then, last month, they brushed it off and matched us with the child that was meant to be ours. I have said many times in the last 2 weeks that if I had known on October 12, 2005 when we made the decision to adopt that we would be a part of the miracle that happened on April 1, 2011, when I saw my daughter's face, this wait would have been negligible. I could have handled it so much easier if I could have just seen in to the future and known that my daughter wouldn't be born until October 22, 2010. I know now that if I had just had blind faith, my heart would not have ached so much, I would not have shed so many tears and I wouldn't have doubted my future every single day for almost 5 years. If I would just have had Faith. But now I do.

Gan Fu Ren

Gan = in Chinese is actually a boy's name that means bold, adventure

Fu = a boy or girl name meaning fortune or wealth

Ren = can mean forbearance or tolerance but the particular pinyin (symbol) that is used for Lily's name means the Confucius principle of humaneness or benevolence

According to some research I have done, in Lily's orphanage, Gan is a name that is given to all children residing in Jianxin SWI. There are a lot of children that are brough to Jianxin from other orphanages because Jianxin is one of the orphanages that participates in the international adoption program in China. The second name, Fu in Lily's case, denotes the orphanage in which the child originated. Lily was always in Jianxin so Gan Fu is the name for all children who have been at Jianxin since they were found. Ren is Lily's only unique name. That's why she will keep this name. She is called FuRen in the orphanage so we may call her this in the first months and it may stick with her as a nickname.