Finding Ad

I debated for a few days about whether or not I wanted to order Lily's finding ad. I did and I received it yesterday via e-mail with translation and hard copies coming in the mail soon.

A finding ad is part of the process that has to be done in order to have a child declared an orphan. It contains a picture of the baby, often very early in life, along with date of birth, finding date and location, name given by the orphanage and possibly some brief description of the child. It is published in the newspaper and, from what I understand, is basically an advertisement for any family or person wanting to claim the child to come forward. If there is no response, the process to declare them "abandoned or orphaned" continues. This process can take several months and is often why most children involved in international adoption from China are at least 6 months old.

I have to say that Lily's finding ad picture, which was placed in a newspaper on November 30, 2010, looks nothing like her referral pictures. She was just a couple weeks old when the picture was taken and I can tell that the orphanage has been good to her because she had definitely gained a good amount of weight by the time her referral pictures were taken at about 3 months old. It is so hard to see this child that I have fallen in love with on a page of a newspaper with at least 30-50 other children. My hope in ordering it is that some day it will be part of her story and we can sit with her and talk about how she came to be with us as her family. My heart knows that when she is old enough and we have this conversation and show her what we have of her origins, it will be extremely emotional. I just hope that we are able to give her the tools to comprehend it all and that she can know that, even in abandonment, she was loved...both by her birth family and by us, her forever family. In my eyes, though I haven't been on the opposite end of this scenario, abandonment in adoption is not done without love. Lily's mother loved her enough to carry her, to protect and to leave her where she would be found quickly. I'm sure she loves her every day and will for the rest of her life. We will never know the truth of Lily's birth, her birth family or the circumstances which led her to Jianxin and, ultimately, to us. The Chinese culture and one-child policy is something I have tried to explain factually to almost everyone who knows the story of Lily but, in reality, it is not something we, as Americans, will ever understand.

I continue to feel so blessed to be looking forward to my future as Lily's mommy. The page in that newspaper with all those children hurts my heart and leads me to a special prayer tonight...that every child on that page is a blessing to a family, their special dream come true. That is what Lily is to us...our dream, our future, our blessing, our daughter. Once she is in my arms, I will never, ever let her go.