The Yellow Ladybug

I was outside today with the insurance man (who was giving me an estimate on our latest car accident) when I looked down and saw the most unique creature in my driveway...a YELLOW ladybug. I put my hand on the ground and let it crawl on me and then I just played with it for a little while like I was a 7 year old....letting it crawl from one hand to the other. The insurance man walked up to me to hand me my estimate and gave me the strangest look. I just told him I was a big fan of ladybugs.

Apparently, there are lots of variations in ladybug colors which include the yellow variety. I found all kinds of neat ladybug facts here --> http://www.ladybuglady.com/LadybugsFAQ.htm . Of course that site does leave out the fact that tons of families adopting from China look toward the ladybug as a sign of good luck and just get downright giddy when one puts itself in our paths.

Jack-O-Lanterns

On Friday, Brandee and Leslie came over and we let our artistic juices flow with a pumpkin carving extravaganza. It was loads of fun...check out the slide show below:



or to go the album with the captions, click here:

Pumpkin Carving

Jeff has an OUCHEE

Jeff has an ouchee. He was working in the yard yesterday (chopping up leaves with the lawnmower ---> http://nicolesdoodlings.blogspot.com/2007/03/mowing-leaves.html ) when he stumbled in the house all bent over. He had a hitch in his getty-up....or he had strained his back for those of you who don't speak Alabama. So he has been on the couch with a heating pad all weekend. Yesterday he had to use his crutches to get to the bathroom (I was sweet and offered to get him a urinal :)). That means I had laundry duty, trash duty and errand running duty by myself all weekend...no fun. He is a little better now but he is pondering whether he will be able to go to work in he morning. If you know Jeff then you know that it takes a major illness or the house falling down to get him to miss work.

Rainy Day

It's rainy here today...and chilly. I haven't had such a great day but I'm not gonna gripe. It occurred to me that I have not yet posted that I am MORE than half-way done with nursing school. Last week was the half-way point of the semester and (since I am in semester 3 of 5) the half-way point of my entire RN program. The past 2 1/2 semesters have really gone by quickly and I am hoping the next 2 1/2 are just as quick. I am anxious to get finished and get to working again. I am actually pondering a job search to carry me through these last months of school but I haven't decided for sure on that one. I would like to focus on school but I really need to be contributing something for the benefit of my household.

These past two weeks I have been in Maternity clinicals which is an area of nursing that I like but I don't think is one I will be working in post-graduation. I have had mother/baby (post-partum), labor & delivery and lactation days. Of all of them, I think I am most suited for labor & delivery because it can be fast paced, involves some surgery (c-sections) and is a short-term patient assignment. I am still thinking that I am going to end up in a critical care area or oncology. I suppose I will know more with more experience. It will also depend how far I can take my schooling. Time will tell...as with all things.

Ammo Canal Palin

That would be my name if I were born to Sarah Palin...ha ha. Visit this site --> http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

to enter your name and see how it can be slaughtered to fit in the with the other Palin children (named Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow and Piper). Kinda funny. I put in Lily Faith and it told me that her '"Palin Name" would be Blitz Harden. I give her one for creativity...and good highlights...but baby naming, not so much.

My new crush

Mr. George-ey Stephanopoulos

Purveyor of all things political

That's what Jeff gets for making me watch so much news. Hee hee.

Windex or Alka Seltzer Plus

Remember in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when the dad used Windex for EVERYTHING....to treat skin problems, infections, etc.?? I remember thinking how hokey that was but now, I have realized, Jeff has his own version of Windex...it's Alka Seltzer Plus.

I have a cold...a pretty dog-gone bad one. Of course, at the first sign of my symptoms, Jeff starts downing the fizzy stuff. Have you actually heard of prophylactic use of Alka Seltzer plus? And yesterday I took Day-quil to no avail...the stuffy nose and horrible aches were not even touched. Last night, Jeff told me that it's cause I didn't take my Alka Seltzer...I would probably be all better now if I had followed the "regimen".

So...if you have a belly ache, Alka Seltzer. If you feel tired, iron supplements and Alka Seltzer. If someone within 20 feet of you develops symptoms of illness, get on the Alka Seltzer as quickly as humanly possible. You might even want to carry a packet in your pocket or in your purse just in case. Of course if you get a wart, leave it to the Windex.

Shhhh....don't tell anyone

But when I was *supposed* to be spending the whole weekend working on clinical paperwork, Jeff and I actually took a quick jaunt to the casino in Mississippi. Really though, I stayed up late Thursday and Friday nights in anticipation of this possibility so I wasn't really too much of a slacker.
So off we went...but we were too spontaneous to get the "normal" room that we usually get at one of the posh gambling establishments. We had to settle for the Key West Inn, a 2 star (can you believe it - us in a 2 star?!?)...ha ha. Seriously the places we usually stay in are really nice. They invest in you so you will drop a buck in their casino. But of course, the old people beat us to the free rooms. You know I'm right because while we were there both Willie Nelson and Air Supply had concerts at the neighboring casinos. Rednecks and 80s mullets at their finest.
So our "top-rated" hotel had a funny little sign outside of the bathroom threatening to charge us for their linens if we packed them away in our suticases...hilarious, huh?
But they would have let us take the bug trap for free. Jeff, in his eternal optimism, said ,"We should feel good cause you know the exterminator came to our room." And I am all like, "Whatever...the fact that they needed to come to our room is a sign of bad things to come and an itchy night's sleep." I did kill 2 spiders in the bathroom too...
So the joy of the trip was that Jeff and I got to spend some time together, that we got to eat and eat and eat some more at the PAULA DEEN BUFFET (that's right butter galore!), and that Jeff got to push the little buttons on the slot machine until he just couldn't push them anymore. His picture is above - sideways - you have to use your imagination.

I got a flashback!

This is actually kinda scary. I have been in nursing school for almost 10 months and today was the first time that I actually drew blood from a real live person - not one of those plastic arms connected to some red colored water! Surprisingly, lots of nursing students go all the way through school without doing basic nurse-ey things like starting IVs, catheters, drawing blood, yada yada. I really want to have the chance to do these things while I'm in school but, truthfully, I am PETRIFIED to do them. So when I found out this morning that I was "the chosen one" to draw blood in clinicals I had my own episode of diaphoresis, tremors, pallor and just plain near-puking.

Although I was a bit panicked and feeling truly sorry for my poor patient/victim, I didn't do so badly. I had to have some serious prompting to find the vein ("Nicole - poke RIGHT THERE") but in went the little butterfly needle and out came the blood. Yippee!!

So now I have gotten this little chore out of the way. The first time is always the worst, right? Now I say bring on those stinkin' IV's, catheter insertion - no problem, NG tube Schmen-G tube. I say all this until the next time I am "on the spot" yet again. Then I might have to find myself a little corner to shrink into. Hee hee.

Day of Remembrance

Today is the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. I know my last couple of blog posts have been kinda bummer-ish but I promise this post will be followed by a happier one.

We don't need a special day, really, to remember our own pregnancy loss. I have blogged about it several times so if you are a reader of my blog then you know the pain that I still face about what happened on April 17th, 2003 and the weeks preceding. I am definitely not alone in this pain...there are so many women and families that have suffered similar sadness. Some have gone on to have beautiful families and some, like us, are still waiting for that dream to come true.

Today I remember my sweet baby that left my body and went to live in heaven. I hope that he or she is in the arms of my grandmothers and Jeff's mom.

Happy 28th Month-a-versary!

It's been 28 months since our paperwork was logged in by some special civil affairs representative in China. Happy Month-a-versary to us!!

3 Years Ago

I missed posting yesterday about a very, very important anniversary. One I never, ever thought I would celebrate. It was 3 years ago yesterday that Jeff and I began this crazy path to parenthood when we decided adoption was our destiny. I posted this blog post --> http://nicolesdoodlings.blogspot.com/2006/10/warning-mushy-post-about-adoption.html on our 1st anniversary of this day.

What more can I really say? I don't really think we are much closer to parenthood than we were on that day 2 years ago when I wrote that post. I look at my old posts and see a difference in what this wait has done to me. I am not hopeless but I am a lot less hope-filled than I was once.

I remember shopping on-line for baby furniture, making my packing lists and searching You Tube for people's Gotcha Day videos. I remember trying to find the best formula for the transition from China to the US, buying tons of books on attachment, China and the culture, children's books targeted toward adopted children. I remember exploring Yahoo Groups for China adoption, dreaming of the minute my little girl would be handed to me by a nanny or orphanage director, preparing myself for her tears and convincing myself that I would give her all the smiles and giggles it took to help her fight through them. I remember wondering how I would arrange for a crib in our hotel room in China or if co-sleeping would be best for our transition. I rememeber dreaming of pig-tails and hair bows, finding baby carriers, researching how to deal with a baby or toddler on long flights and wondering if it was really possible for those crazy folks who commit to adoption travel with carry-ons only. I remember when our biggest question was "Beijing before or after we pick up the baby?", not "Will this ever really happen??".

This has been a long, crooked, roller coaster filled, stomach-sickening, headache-causing and heart-breaking road. I know we aren't the only ones in the world dealing with this wait and this dream hanging by an ever-so-fragile red thread over our heads. Today, though, as I recall that day 3 years ago when we took the leap of faith on this journey, I feel like a different person than I once was. One a little more cynical, a little less filled with blind optimism, a little more filled with the pieces of a semi-shattered heart, with gallons less tears and tons more doubts. All of this to say, I am still that same woman with that same dream on same path. I ain't goin' nowhere until my arms are filled with my child and my heart is glued back together with the love I have on reserve for her alone.

I have published this poem on here before but I am going to post it again...for me.

Dear Sweet Daughter,

As a girl I had a common dream, to be a mom someday.
My baby would have eyes of blue and hair the hue of hay.
But now my dreams have been transformed. New visions fill my head.
Now the tresses that I long to stroke are raven black instead.

And in my dreams those eyes are not so big or blue or round.
Now in my dreams they're almond shaped and colored cocoa brown.
And in my dreams my arms can stretch across enormous seas.
They reach half-way around the world and hold you close to me.

As you grow in your mother's womb, carefully knit together,
you're also growing in my heart, where you will stay forever.
And in my dreams the moment that your mother says good-bye,
I'll be right there to comfort you and hold you as you cry.

Our features may not look alike; we're different as can be.
But still I know the Father has created you for me.
And though I've not yet seen your face, or held your tiny hands,
and though we're half a world apart in very different lands.

I'll be right there to get you just as soon as God allows.
But til He says the time is right I give to you this vow.
I'll pray for your protection every night on bended knee.
For God will hold you in His arms, until you're here with me.

-Gayle Leubecker

Race for the Cure 2008

Another Race for the Cure is in the books...and it was a great one! My nursing school class had a team this year and Brooke got us awesome-ly cute t-shirts. Jeff and I both ran the whole thing (although he, of course, was way ahead of me). This was also the first year that Brandee did the race instead of being there just as moral support. I am so proud of her (and her Leslie and Ricky too). It was a great time and, as always, inspirational. Here are some pics...click on it to see the album.

Race for the Cure 2008

Stressful Jobs

Jeff found this article on MSN --> http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1649&SiteId=cbmsnhp41649&sc_extcmp=JS_1649_home1&GT1=23000&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=34c22f42e356427b909f1434f1cb6c9f-277123571-R8-4 . It talks about the 8 top stressful jobs. Number one is retail salespeople - sorry Brandee. Number two is doctors and nurses (I would lump this into all health care professionals)...that makes it bad for our household. Jeff and I are doomed to be stressballs. It's an interesting article though. I think they left out a few categories like military, technology jobs, etc. but they can't be perfect.

Adoption Forecast - October

Referrals this month covered the period from February 9-15, 2006. This was 6 days of LIDs and is right in line with the average. According to http://www.chinaadoptionforecast.com/, our new estimated date of referral is June 26, 2010. This only puts us 5 days behind last month's forecast...not so bad I suppose. To see last month's stats, go here ---> http://nicolesdoodlings.blogspot.com/2008/09/adoption-forecast-september.html . So here's the rundown:

• The average number of days referred each month is now 6.1. This month's progress was exactly average.
• There are now 119 days of LIDs ahead of ours (June 14, 2006).
• 119 days of LIDs/6.1 LID days per month = 19.5 more months of waiting

And now to reveal the identity of the objects in my last post....

They are just colored glass marbles that I bought at the new Garden Ridge down the street. It is not that the little colorful delights are anything special in and of themselves...it's what they represent that is special. This little container sitting on our dining room table holds 119 very pretty, candy-looking marbles. One for each day of LIDs ahead of us. Every month when referrals come out, I will ceremoniously remove the number of marbles that corresponds with the number of LID days referred until there are none left and we are holding a picture of our little one.

It really doesn't look like all that many, does it?

My favorite trash TV

What better to do than watch crap on TV when you want a stress reliever? I admit that I watch Maury...but only for the paternity testing shows. I really don't like those "my 18 month old baby weighs 100 lbs" or "is it a man or a woman?" shows. They are way too trashy for moi...hee hee.
I admit that I even DVR'ed an episode which Jeff is watching right now. The little caption box in the corner of the screen says, "Who's my baby's dad...my husband or his nephew?". Ba-ha-ha! We can never get enough of the, "I don't MAKE sick babies" or "Mexicans don't HAVE blue-eyed, blonde-haired kids" followed by Maury pronouncing..."Yo dude...you ARE the father." I just love when the moms get all up in the daddies faces and scream, "I told you...now pay up!" Of course there are the ones that are not so positive where the mommies end up running off the set and collapsing backstage only with Maury to chase them for his form of "comfort" (aka prying for information about all the booty calls she had so he can do more DNA tests). Of course the men stay on stage and perform their jovial break-dancing for the audience in the meantime. Such quality programming, isn't it?

On another note...I have a pretty picture to share.
What do you think this is? I will disclose the in the next post or two.

Nascar's in town

This weekend is the Nascar race at Talladega. It is a "safe" 40-ish miles from us but we are still inundated with number tattoo-ed and mullet-ed fans in our hotels and restaurants around here. The local economy LOVES this twice a year festival of beer bongs and folks yee-hawing for their favorite drivers. I, however, stick to my long-standing dislike of Nascar in spite of my dear husband's love for the "sport". Tomorrow is the big race and then the trailer brigade heads home...or on to next week's race.

Sarah Palin's a STAR

How great is it to go from relative obscurity to having your very own action figure/doll?!? I know she and her 5 kids must be proud. I doubt, however, that they would condone this little bustier/Catholic schoolgirl dress that someone took the liberty to don.
In this mess of politics, it's nice to see something a little funny in it all, right? I will be glad when November gets here...then we can have our scary Burger King commercials back instead of the "I'm good and he sucks" political ads.

I'm a big, mean complainer

I need this sign <--- as a reminder to myself. I have been especially gripe-ey lately and we all know that complaining and griping is very unproductive, right? Regardless, I have been able to find at least 5 big things each day to lodge a grievance about (in true PMS-ridden fashion).

Why do I or why does anyone complain? Do we think we are really going to initiate change in the target of our angst? Are we trying to make ourselves feel better by letting out the toxic energy? I don't really know the purpose but I know I do a lot of it...and I want to stop, I really do.

So here are a few things that I pledge to do to come between me and my complaining ways:

1. Think of 5 good things for each 1 thing that I complain about (hey, at least I'm realistic and know that I won't stop my griping cold turkey).
2. Take a Vitamin B6 supplement every day. I just learned that this is supposed to help with PMS so I'm gonna give it a shot.
3. Vary the targets of my complaining...not just at Jeff or my family members who pledge to listen to me. They can all have a little piece of it so no one person wants to kill me at any given time.
4. Really make a concerted effort to stifle the gripes. I know I'm a lucky chica so why do I spend more time on the negative rather than all the blessings I have?
5. Check in with myself on this topic at least once a week. Thursday is now the Check Yourself: Griping and Complaining Day...join me if you wish.
6. The last one....find one thing every week that inspires me and document it. That should be easy...there is inspiration all around.