Lily's Referral Day

Friday was a SURREAL day. I have been on a cloud ever since then but it started with me as a complete ball of nerves. I hadn't slept more than a couple of hours for 3 days and I was constantly stalking the internet for any news. When I got up Friday, I wasn't 100% sure that we would see Lily before the weekend. There were still 5 days logged in before we were matched...no real guarantees. But our China Rep, Michelle, called DHL and then called me at about 9:50am and told me that, barring any unforeseen weather situations, we would get our package that day. Less than 2 hours later, she called again and told me that Lily's package was at their office. I didn't know at that time that she already knew Lily's date of birth and that she was a SHE. Jeff didn't want me to find out any information before we were together (he was at work) so I didn't ask ANY questions even though I was going insane. Michelle told me to give her until about 12:30 and then come to the office. I called Jeff, texted Jeff and finally got in touch with him and told him I would be at the hospital to pick him up about 12:15. I shoved some food in my mouth, got in the car and Jeff ended up getting tied up in a procedure until about 12:40...every minute seemed like an hour. We finally got to the adoption agency at around 12:55pm and we were greeted with this on the door...

Wow. It's real. We are parents...we just hadn't seen her yet. So we walked in to the office and the director of the agency welcomed us to the office. She was smiling from ear to ear. She went to get Michelle and she led us to her office. I looked down at the desk and there were these little pictures of a tiny baby. I looked down, looked at Michelle, looked down, looked at Jeff, looked at Michelle and said, "Is this her?" Oh my goodness. It was her. LILY. After all these years, all the paperwork, heartache, longing, countless mushy blog posts and nights when I had to cry myself to sleep with empty arms. This is HER. MY DAUGHTER.

I asked Michelle when she was born and she just said, " She's tiny.....October." I said, "October of 2010???" Really, just turned 5 months old a little more than a week ago....really?!?!?! I had dreamed of Lily being a tiny baby but I never really, really believed that she would be less than a year old. It has been 3 days now and I am still having moments when I think of some other first that I now get to look forward to...first steps, first birthday...

This is the child I prayed for for so long. The child that Jeff and I have talked about and hoped for, built our home, opened our hearts and have loved for so long. She is our LILY.

This is Jeff's daughter, my daughter, our family. We get to watch her grow and become a toddler, a pre-schooler, take her to ballet, gymnastics, school programs, Girl Scout meetings. We get to rub her head when she's sad or sick. We get to love her. Us. How in the world did we get so fortunate?

This was the first day of our future. When we hold our baby girl, our family and hearts will be complete. I am so full of joy that I can't even begin to express how I feel. I have smiled so much in the last 3 days that my face truly hurts. When a bad thought enters my head, I look at her face and it's gone. She's a miracle. Our miracle.