Reminder to myself

This month's referrals from China are on their way and this time they cover just 6 days worth of Log In Dates - more than last month's 2 days worth but still nothing to be too excited about. We are still looking at Fall to Winter 2008 before I am a mommy. With the delay, I have become good at putting the adoption to the far corners of my mind, but never completely off of it. All of the excitement that I had at the beginning of the process is now bottled up deep inside of me just waiting to come back out when the time gets closer. But for now, I just needed to remind myself that I am truly a mommy-in-waiting. My heart breaks every day for my baby girl and I just long to be with her someday soon. So...here is the poem that is on our adoption website. It always makes me cry but I honestly have no better words than these.

Dear Sweet Daughter

As a girl I had a common dream, to be a mom someday.

My baby would have eyes of blue and hair the hue of hay.

But now my dreams have been transformed.

New visions fill my head.

Now the tresses that I long to stroke are raven black instead.
And in my dreams those eyes are not so big or blue or round.

Now in my dreams they're almond shaped and colored cocoa brown.

And in my dreams my arms can stretch across enormous seas.

They reach half-way around the world and hold you close to me.

As you grow in your mother's womb, carefully knit together,you're also growing in my heart, where you will stay forever.

And in my dreams the moment that your mother says good-bye,I'll be right there to comfort you and hold you as you cry.

Our features may not look alike; we're different as can be.

But still I know the Father has created you for me.

And though I've not yet seen your face, or held your tiny hands,and though we're half a world apart in very different lands.

I'll be right there to get you just as soon as God allows.

But 'til He says the time is right I give to you this vow.

I'll pray for your protection every night on bended knee.

For God will hold you in His arms, until you're here with me.

-Gayle Leubecker