Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Lily Lily Bo-Billy

In case there haven't been enough cute pictures posted...



Lily in her cute lob-stah outfit...you should see the ruffles on the booty. So cute!




She tries to sit on the couch without face-planting and can manage for a little bit as long as she holds herself with her hands...see.




Thus we have to move to the floor and practice sitting with the boppy and the baby gym to keep her upright. She does an awesome job with it.




Eventually she looks at me and tells me, "Mommy, you must really stop with all those pictures. The flash is KILLING my eyes."




:)






Up Next - Baby Sign Language

Lily would like to tell you about her next project.

See here...it's a Baby Signing DVD....



We watched some of it this afternoon and it was mesmerizing. So far we know how to sign "eat", "drink", "milk", "cereal", "banana" and "all done".


With a little practice, we might actually be putting these signs in to our daily routine soon! Stay tuned....

She's EATING!!

Life around here is definitely not boring. Last week alone we had 3 appointments - one for our first post-placement visit with our social worker, one follow-up with the International Adoption Clinic and Lily's first appointment with her pediatrician (SHE HAD SHOTS!!). Every day with our Lily-bug is so special. We watch her grow and develop and, I guess since I see her every day, I forgot that she is actually still struggling to catch up with her fellow 8-month old peers. To me she is perfect and so smart and doing things that I never could have imagined just 6 short weeks ago.

Part of our evaluation and treatment at the International Adoption Clinic is a developmental assessment. They use OT/PT and speech therapy professionals to assess where the babies are and make suggestions for helping them to catch up. The person who we saw estimated that Lily is about at a 4-6 month level developmentally right now. She is still not sitting up completely on her own, is only babbling with vowels and definitely is making no moves to crawl. On top of this, we had tried to feed her some rice cereal with a spoon and she HATED it. Although the orphanage said she had been eating congee and soup, she had no idea what to do with a spoon or how to swallow outside of the bottle. When I tried to feed her, it made her gag and she screamed bloody murder. This was actually our second attempt at feeding with the spoon...




Not good. The developmental specialist gave us some suggestions and told us some signs that would indicate that Lily was ready for solids. She told us floor exercises to do, some suggestions on helping her to sit, etc. Supposedly an indicator for whether a baby is ready for the spoon is that they have trunk control (can sit) and can grab toys/objects and manipulate them outside of their mid-line. We spent a few days really working with her and have seen tremendous progress. She has been on the floor a lot and we are using the boppy and floor gym in non-traditional ways to get her to sit up and grab. I am so proud of her. We decided to try the spoon again and guess what ?!?!? She got it!!! We reclined the high chair as suggested, thinned the rice cereal significantly and first tried to get her to suck the spoon. After a few times with that, she was ready to take the spoon almost like normal.

Here she is....




I know this may seem like a mundane thing but it's a huge step for our baby girl. After all, we LOVE food in this house. We will keep this up for a week or so and then add bananas. I can't wait for every day that I get to experience life through my sweet girl.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Lily's Gotcha


I've finally been able to upload the first ten minutes of Lily's Gotcha video. There are seven more minutes that I will have to work on but you can see the first time we met our sweet girl here. This was one of the most amazing moments of my life and I am so thankful to have it documented...although it wasn't glamorous since we met Lily and the orphanage staff in the lobby of our hotel after dealing with some pretty rough last minute arrangements. These ten minutes were the beginning of our lives in so many ways.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Jeff's very first Father's Day and he is ecstatic. He is so proud to be Lily's daddy and I have to say that he is a very, very good dad. He changes diapers, rocks her to sleep, reads her stories, watches cartoons with her, gets up with her some times in the middle of the night, makes bottles, cleans spit up...he does it all. I am so proud of him and so happy to share the journey of parenthood with him.
This morning Lily fell asleep on him...and slept in this position for over an hour.

Then she gave her daddy a card that we picked out especially for him.



And tonight we will be seeing Grandpa to finish out the Father's Day celebration. Cause no Father's Day would be complete for a little girl without these two VIP's. :)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Worth the Wait

Absolutely.


P.S. Thanks Ruby for pointing out that the yellow print is hard to read in this photo. It says "worth the wait" :)




Thanks Nikki, Michael and Olivia for the most perfect onesie and hat. They say it all. :)

The View from Here

My days are full. Not exciting but full nonetheless. I love it. I love being a mom. There is nothing else like it. As much dreaming as I have done about mommyhood these past 10 years, nothing could have ever prepared me for the joy that every day holds and the amazing, unconditional and remarkable love that I hold for this little being. So, now, even mundane things like walks around the block are filled with fun...


And morning or afternoon naps that I used to be able to take in front of the TV on my days off take on a new meaning...

The view from here is priceless :).




Back to Work

When we first started the adoption process, I was in a job that I had been in for years and years. I planned to take at least 6 months off - call it a sabbatical, extended leave, whatever - I had it like that. Then the adoption wait stretched and stretched and I decided to pursue a career that I had wanted for a long time and I went back to nursing school. I have been a nurse for almost 2 years now and have been in my current job for just a year so I don't have it like that anymore.

Before we left for China, I had arranged with my boss to go back to work for one day on June 10th to see how it would go, knowing that Jeff would be home with Lily for his entire allowable FMLA. So last Friday, I put on my scrubs (and my big girl panties), packed my lunch and said a tearful good-bye to this little face...

It was a HARD day. I have waited so long to be a mommy and, more appropriately, to be a mommy to this little girl that I just don't want to miss a minute. I do like my job but I LOVE my baby. Unfortunately, I have to work in order to avoid bankruptcy so I'm stuck. I know all working moms must go through this and I am so fortunate that Jeff is able to be with Lily until August and then my awesome dad (Lily's Grandpa) is willing to be her manny. What a deal, huh?!?! I know this is so much more than most people have but I still want to spend every one of my waking and sleeping moments with my little girl.

Anyway....the day started out slow. Super slow. It was 6am then 2 hours later it was 6:10am...go figure. It didn't help that I had already cried 3 times before I even got to work. By lunch time, I thought I was going to have a complete meltdown. Then I was taken by the hand and led to the breakroom by my sweet friend and co-worker, Karen. My co-workers had put together a shower with awesome food and CAKE! I was so, so touched by this and so happy to share my Lily joy with the people that I spend lots of my days with. It was awesome. But then, after my first round of taco salad, my boss walked in and said I had a visitor. Right behind her were the 2 loves of my life! I couldn't believe just how high my heart jumped when I saw Jeff with Lily walking in to my work break room. I have really never felt so much like my heart had wings as I did at that moment. Just a reminder of how in love I am with this child and how ecstatic my little family makes me. Jeff stayed for quite a while and then I finished out my day...counting down every minute until I could give report to the night nurses and head home. I was planning to stop at the grocery store on my way home but I couldn't do it. I raced home to catch as many awake minutes with my little girl as I could.

Fortunately I have the ability to work just one day a week for three weeks before I go back full time. I am so grateful for this but still, I go back again tomorrow and I'm empty at the thought of leaving my family again. I know I've got to do this and I know real life has to start again some time but I'm fighting it. This weekend I just may have to go buy some lottery tickets.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Babbling about Lily

It has been more than 3 weeks now since I first saw my precious baby girl. When I saw her for the first time, it hit me how tiny she was, how little head control she had, how skinny her little arms and legs were. Since that day, she has shocked me with her progress. My little 7 month old girl now has great head control, has gained more than 2 pounds, is keeping her food down (she has had a very weak stomach since birth according to her medical info and our first few days with her), smiles for miles, pulls herself up to sitting and standing position with our fingers, belly laughs, makes all kinds of baby noises and so much more. I can't even believe that she is the same baby.

Still, she is sleeping in the bed with us...on a little palette right smack in the middle of the bed. Of course we get criticism for this from people not in the adoption community but, for now, this is what she needs and we will provide it for her. There will be no crying herself to sleep as this is what our baby girl has had to do for the first 6 months of her life. Still, she wakes herself up at night and lifts her legs straight in the air and slams them back down - repeatedly. She may be doing this while still asleep. I'm not sure. She also sucks on her hand...whether it is for her comfort or related to teething I don't know. Most days, she has to be laying right on top of Jeff or I in order to take a nap. She fights sleep so hard that we have to be standing or walking, jiggling her, patting her back all at the same time and some times for 2 hours before she finally gives in and konks out. I wonder if she is worried that something will happen while she's asleep or if she things she will wake up and we won't be here anymore. If I am holding her when she falls asleep, I hate to even move or breathe lest she wake up and lose her much needed rest. Of course, most of the time I don't mind holding her and feeling her sweet baby breath on my ear as she sleeps. Some times I can just stare at her for her whole nap, searching for those little sleep smiles she has that come from gas or good baby dreams. Some times she wimpers in her sleep and, although this may be a normal baby thing, my heart hurts just wondering if she is afraid of something or remembering the times when she was alone in her crib at the orphanage.

I stare at this child, my child, and just know her. I have memorized every facial expression, every eyelash, every little fold in her baby neck. She looks at me and smiles, almost instantly. Most of the time when someone else holds her, I see her face searching for me and it warms my heart more than anything ever has in this life. When our eyes meet and she gives me that huge toothy grin, I just know that there is a heaven and that she came from there to be with us. There is no other possible answer to how we have been brought together.

I often think about the first few months of her life and how I will explain them to her. Today I picked up the pictures from the disposable camera that the orphanage returned to us and there were some of her in a walker, one in her crib and another with a woman, who I assume is her nanny, holding her. All of these things happened before I touched her for the first time. I know that this nanny had to love her. You can't be around our Lily and not love her. But it still pains me to think that she didn't know the love of a mommy and daddy for those months. For that reason, I know I will spoil her rotten for a while. And I will do it happily and deal with every last consequence because, for my child, nothing is good enough, there are never enough kisses and hugs, my arms will always be open and my chest will always be the perfect place for a nap. Her voice will always be the most beautiful music I have ever heard, her tears will always call upon me to kiss them away. I love her. Truly and deeply and with every ounce of me. I know I have said this before but now I say it again. She is the center of our universe and worth every minute of our wait, every tear of frustration and grief that I have shed in the past 10 years of praying for a family, every shot I gave myself during fertility treatment, every fingerprint I had to have done and re-done, every home study update and immigration renewal, everything, all of it.

Baby Jet Lag

We have now been home almost 10 days...some of the most wonderful yet challenging days of my life. I am one-handed blogging right now as Lily takes a nap in my arms. Lily has had a hard-core case of baby jet lag. The first few days were super rough as Jeff and I were dealing with our own time adjustments too. Before we left China, Lily was napping at will and sleeping 6-8 hours every night with one wake-up for diaper change and a small bottle. It was awesome. When we got home she wasn't napping well and woke up almost every hour at night. or that first week, I was more tired than I can ever remember being....including when I was working night shift and going to nursing school during the day.

We have made some progress now and Lily is sleeping 6 hours or so at night with about 2-3 wake-ups. I really don't expect her to sleep through the night...just to sleep enugh to give us a rest and fuel her body. She naps twice during the day with a pretty consistent morning nap and a more erratic one in the afternoon. Our poor angel fights sleep with all of her being and the afternoons these days have been filled with rocking, bouncing, walking all over the house. Some times she won't fall asleep until 5pm and, on these days, I know that our nights will be rough.


We went to the International Adoption Clinic last week for Lily's first appointment and evaluation and we shared our sleep concerns with the doctor who has 2 children adopted from China herself. She said this is so very normal and almost every parent on their first visit shares the same experience with sleeping and jet lag...even down to the statement that things were great in China. That made us feel better. On that same trip, the doctor said Lily looks great. She said she is one of the very youngest children from China that she has ever seen and reminded us of just how very fortunate we are. She has a boo-boo on her arm still and she told us that this is from the tuberculosis vaccine that they don't do here in the US. She said it would heal on it's own but could take a LONG time. Lily also gained another few tenths of a pound and is officially in the 3rd percentile on the US growth chart.


I plan to blog more about our first week home but Lily has woken up so I will hopefully get to that later. I have to go back to work in just 2 days so I want to soak up all the love from my sweetie that I can get. Through all the sleep-deprived days, I know just how very blessed I am to be the mother to this most amazing child. I will say again - she is better than my best dream come true. Jeff and I both love her more than we ever thought possible. Here are some pics for now... more later

Lily eating out for the first time with Grandma and Grandpa at Newk's




Look at that face

I love my daddy...he makes the funniest noises


Grandma and Grandpa spoil me rotten


Cheeeeeeeese!!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Finally HOME!!

What a trip!!! We left Beijing on Saturday, May 28th - leaving our hotel at 12:30pm China time with our flight scheduled to leave at 4:10pm. Well....we got to the airport, waited about an hour to check in and found out that our flight was going to be delayed by 2 hours - meaning that we would miss our connecting flight in Chicago. Unfortunately, there were no later flights to book us on so they went ahead and made arrangements for us to spend Saturday night in Chicago and leave on an 8am flight home.
Our little booger was already tired on the way to the airport in Beijing. The flight was rough. 13 hours long and 40 minutes in she had already puked all over me and exercised her lungs for the entire plane. After about 6 hours, they moved us to the bulkhead after asking some passengers to shift around and we were able to rock Lily to sleep and put her in the bassinet. She slept for 6 hours...what a blessing! We arrived in Chicago and scrambled around for a LONG time trying to make arrangements for the night and make sure we were in line to leave as early on Sunday morning as possible. We had run out of formula since we had just enough to last the trip home so Dad and Jeff had to take a taxi to Target to get some for the night. It was a hot mess. Oh - and Lily became a US citizen as soon as we touched down in Chicago!!


Sunday morning we left our hotel at 6am to get to the airport in time for our 8:04am flight. There was a ton of fog and we were a little concerned but not too much. Well...the fog lifted but not until they had diverted our plane to Indianapolis before it arrived in Chicago. Then, after the plane left Indianapolis, huge thunderstorms rolled in and forced the plane to circle, and circle, and circle. We waited and waited. Lily was doing pretty well but did have sporadic meltdowns which required walking up and down the concourse, riding the escalators and lots of rocking and coo-ing. Finally at about 4pm, after a plane and gate change, we took off for home. I found out later that over 450 flights had been cancelled out of the Chicago airport that day. We were lucky just to get on one that wasn't.




When we landed in Birmingham, we were psyched to finally bring Lily home and for her to meet the family. After all the delays, they were anxious to finally meet her too. So, we took a little bathroom break and Dad got his little rat-tail hat on...






And we walked down the concourse.....




Look at my Mom's face....priceless. They had made "Team Lily" t-shirts that were AWESOME, each with a different picture of Lily and their titles. I was so happy to introduce our little girl to these special family members who have waited for her as long as we have. We are all so lucky!



Then we loaded my precious sweetie in to her carseat for her first ride home. She liked it...especially the little mirror that was in front of her to allow us to see her from the front seat.




My family had decorated the house and the door for her arrival. Do you know how long it has been that I have waited to see a bow on my door?!?!?! AWESOME!!



And one by one, Lily met her family. Her uncle Jason got some smiles.



Of course Grandma...loving her little Lily


Aunt Brandee giving some love




And Aunt Leslie meeting little Lily




We are so, so very fortunate to have such an amazing family who has loved and supported us throughout this entire journey. Lily is worth every minute of the last 5+ years that we have longed for her. She is our miracle. I look at her and have tears at least once a day at just how awesome it is that I am her mom. When she smiles at me, I melt. I see that look in her eye...the knowing look that a child has for their nurturer. I love her with all of me. And now the real journey of our lives can begin.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Guangzhou to Beijing

On Friday (5/27) we made our last in China plane trip from Guangzhou to Beijing. We really loved Guangzhou and Shamian Island but we were very ready to start this journey home. I was nervous about the plane ride because Lily didn't do great on the very short one to Guangzhou. I was lulled in to a fall sense of security when Lily slept for the first 40 minutes or so on this 3 hour ride. When she woke up, it was a free for all. She had a bad diaper...I could manage that. Then the fussing started. Lily requires walking in order to calm down when she has a meltdown and it's really hard to walk in a plane that has turbulence or when the pilot turns on the seatbelt sign. Lily was screaming, crying big crocodile tears, completely inconsolable. I broke the rules and tried to walk her up and down the aisle and it didn't work. Louise, our guide, then came and took her and started to walk her back to her seat. I had a full on southern come-apart at that moment. I didn't want anyone taking my baby away from me, crazy crying or not. I escaped to the bathroom, pulled myself together and, when I got back she was suggesting a bottle. So we all frantically made one even though she had just finished one an hour earlier and I fed her some. Well....that was a mistake. About 30 minutes before landing, Lily projectile spewed all over herself and me. I rushed to wipe her down, change her and get her situated before landing. As soon as she puked, all was right with the world. I guess she may have had some motion sickness. I don't know but it was horribly miserable. When we landed, I was red-eyed, covered in baby puke and beside myself worried about the 13 hour flight we face home.

Here was my angel on the bus on the way to the airport...still happy


And after the flight, konked out in an unnatural position in my arms with me covered in puke.


I managed a smile...cause she is still my every dream come true and these parts of mommyhood, while not glamorous, are priceless in their own right. :)

I'm a Dahling

She knows she's cute












Red Couch

It is tradition for adoptive families who go through Guangzhou to take pictures of their children dressed in traditional Chinese outfits on the infamous red couch at the White Swan Hotel. Even though we weren't staying at the White Swan, we took our munchkins there on Thursday afternoon (5/26) for their photo opportunity. We had bought Lily multiple little dresses but of course they didn't fit so we defaulted to this green 2 piece outfit. Her referral information said that her favorite colors are green and red so this is fitting. Here are some pictures of the Masseys and Wardells...

Lily and Sophie on the red couch
Kathleen (Nana) with her Sophie


Grandpa with his little booger, Lily


Lily and Sophie - so cute!


Sophie in her beautiful dress


Tony and Karen with their sweet Sophie


Daddy and his Lily Bear


My dream come true

Our family
GRRRRR!

Shopping in Guanzhou with Ann

Ann at Red Thread was. so important to us after we received Lily's referral. We sent a care package through her, she translated our letter to the orphanage and she got us updated pictures of Lily. We would have paid her hundreds for what she did but it cost us just $33. I had read that she took people shopping while in Guangzhou and decided that we needed to meet her. I'm so glad we did. She took us to a wholesale market to shop for jade, traditional Chinese wood boxes and other things. We got GREAT deals, saw some of Guangzhou that we wouldn't have had a chance to see and just enjoyed her. She is a little tiny thing and I had imagined her to be about 45 years old. Instead I think she is about 25...and an amazing little woman.

Karen and Kathleen with Ann
Us with Ann after shopping all morning

Bargaining for jade

Us in a traditional temple


Dad with the fat belly Buddha

The walking street in Guangzhou

Ann let Lily borrow her hat

Us at the medicine market


Dried frogs


Dreied seahorses - Ann said they were used like Viagra