Conflicted

We had some really good rumors last month about a potential big batch of adoption referrals from China coming up. I actually allowed myself to get excited and thought that things were going to turn around and we wouldn't have to wait FOREVER to become parents. BUT...referrals are now out and the batch is small again...only 6 days worth of referrals. Every month that passes, our estimate of when we will receive our referral lenghthens by at least 1-2 months. Right now, according to the China Adoption Forecast, the best guess would be around October 20, 2008...the absolute earliest would be June of 2008 if there was a huge speedup and the latest estimate is June of 2011. So I am enormously thrilled for those parents that were included in this 6 day batch but so sad for me and Jeff. Dang it, I just want to be a mommy.