"blah blah blah, YOU ARE NEXT, blah blah blah"

This is all I heard the other day when our sweet rep from the adoption agency called to touch base with us. She just wanted to get things straight about our immigration approval (that was the source of a couple headaches recently) and confirm our dinner plans for next week but the only 2 words I heard the first time I listened to the message are "YOU ARE NEXT". Now this doesn't mean that our LID (6/14/06) will be the next batch of families to get referrals but we are our adoption agency's next group so, whether it takes one month or ten, Jeff and I and the other great couple we are logged in with will be the next of their families to see babies.

For some reason those three words still give me chills though. So much so that I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was wondering where Lily is and if she is warm and able to sleep at night. I wonder if there is someone holding her and making her coo and smile. Some times these thoughts just drive me crazy. Just to know that my baby is out there somewhere in an orphanage or foster home makes my stomach both hurt and full of butterflies at the same time. Anyone who says that you have to have a baby in your belly to fall in love with them is so, so wrong. I am in love with this child who I don't know, have never seen on ultrasound and never felt kick. I haven't heard her heartbeat, don't know her due date and don't even 100% know that she is a "her" but I am in love. She is my baby. Our baby. And we are next....at least kinda. :)