My 3rd week

I am now in my 3rd week of working as a nurse. I haven't technically worked as a nurse for the entire 3 weeks since I have been in classroom orientation for 2 and have only been working with patients for 3 days/shifts. But for my own purposes, I wanted to just mark where I am right now with my new career and where I stand so that when I get disgruntled I can look back and see where it all started.

I had a hard time with my decision to work where I do...68 miles from home. I also had a hard time choosing between a critical care unit and a specialized med-surg (normal patient) floor. In the end, I knew my heart was in critical care and, with the job market the way it has been, I was happy to have any job...7 or 70 miles from home. This is not to say that I don't question my decision...I wonder if it may have been best to hold out for a job closer to home or in a place in which I am familiar. But in the end, this was my choice and I am going to stick by it for the indefinite future and get as much experience as I can and just hope that I can make a difference along the way.

On some days, while I wake up at 4am and make my sleepy-eyed commute, I feel confident that I am going to be a great nurse. Then I get to the floor, meet new people, try my best to smile, care about them and help them through what is potentially the hardest time in their lives. I have lots of moments of insecurity and I wonder how I will handle it if something non-routine or emergent happens. At these times, I have to tell myself that I will trust my instinct, get help from my peers and have faith.

Right now, I am having a rough time with the 12 hours days of standing on tile floors, my eyelids are heavy from the extra 90 minutes I have to allow for my trip and the search for parking in a massive hospital complex and my southern accent is getting worse by the day from being in the midst of a more rural mid-south town. But, when it comes down to it, I know in my heart that I am right where I was meant to be in this moment (yet again).